Building a great client relationship requires many different types of nurturing. First and foremost, you need to deliver high quality work to your client. They must feel that you are capable of doing the job you’ve been tasked with from a technical and strategic perspective. There are, however, softer skills required to build truly formative relationships with clients — especially the more critical ones — one of these skills is eating shit (strategically).
Now to be clear, I’m not talking about taking shit — when you take shit, you are capitulating to the every whim of your client, whether it is in their best interest or not. Strategic shit eating means you face your client’s critical feedback head-on, and use it to your advantage.
Eating shit means you take a particularly harsh criticism that was leveled against you and you swallow your initial reaction to get defensive. Let’s say you’ve completed what you believe is a really incredible design that is based on sound user and market research. The client hates what you presented, however, and they want an alternative approach that you feel won’t work as well. The urge to tell the client they’re wrong, or indicate why you’re right can be very strong, but it’s important to resist this for a few reasons:
- You may come off as responding emotionally to the feedback, which would be counterproductive to the outcome you want.
- You need time to let the feedback sink in to fully understand it and respond to it effectively.
- There may be aspects of the feedback that are very worthwhile, even if they illicit a negative emotional response.
Number 3 is very important, because in a lot of cases, I’ve found myself instinctually wanting to defend myself against critical feedback. In my experience, however, there are almost always pieces of it that help guide the project.
So what is the strategic shit eating approach to this scenario? First, when a client gives you critical feedback, always listen carefully and thank them for it. Let them know that you understand why they’re providing it, and offer to discuss it further. Ask questions and try to explore what they’re proposing — this is important because sometimes when you encourage them to dig a little deeper, they’ll realize why you approached the work the way you did, and will recant. Give the conversation space, don’t try to shut it down or rush through.
If the client is still dug in after you’ve talked through it, offer to perform the requisite due diligence to fully explore the feedback they’ve provided. Be sure to let them know that you’ll be looking further into it, and be specific about what you’ll be reporting back and when. If there’s a decision point in the future, make it clear to them. Sometimes this might involve a heuristic evaluation, tweaking the designs, or more user research. I’ve also found that sometimes clients decide they don’t like something after seeing it actually put in front of them. Be prepared for this possibility. It can be frustrating to work on something that was recommended as feedback to you only have it tossed — but it’s a normal part of the creative process.
Once you’ve done your due diligence, make your own recommendation — if it really doesn’t make sense to do it the way they’re proposing, respectfully let them know why. This doesn’t mean, however, that you were right and they were wrong. Offer to explore other alternatives that are supported by the research. A demanding client can be deceptively beneficial because they often encourage you to iterate. It also means that even if you don’t end up fully implementing the client’s feedback, you are often able to use something you discovered in the process of exploring it.
Finally — how do you deal with a client’s really bad ideas, or an idea that is simply a waste of time? I often hear teammates say, “I need to learn how to say ‘no'”. But this isn’t true at all! You really shouldn’t say no at all. Does this mean you have to do everything a client asks? Hell no! This means that you can reframe your no as a “yes”, and let the natural rigors of the project sort out what’s truly important.
You’ve likely heard this before, but “yes, and…” works wonders. In practice, this might be a client saying, “I know we’re 3 days away from launch but I was wondering if we could see how the site looks in hot pink”. You might say something to the effect of, “I love this thought! We are super close to launch right now and kind of locked in, but let’s have a discussion about color schemes as part of our post-launch roadmap. I’ll go ahead and make a note right here.” You’ve paid them a compliment, making them feel good about their idea, and you’re putting it on a list for further discussion.
Now the last part is key. Actually make the note on a list; and if possible, do it in a place that’s visible to the client. In a lot of cases, clients want to know that you listened to them and are willing to revisit their considerations, even if they don’t end up moving forward.
Now with, “yes, and…” there is always a slim chance that they’ll reply with, “No. I need to see what the site looks like pink, and I need you to do that now.” If that’s the case then you need to help them understand the necessary adjustments that would be required (pushing back the launch, budget overages, etc.) Sometimes this helps them realize it’s not worth it, but other times they will continue to push. In those cases, the precise changes in scope should be made clear, and either you or whoever is authorized will need to engage in any contractual discussions. Viewing critical feedback as a negotiation and understanding that there is always another potential avenue to explore can take some of the pressure off of these types of interactions.
If I could boil down strategic shit eating to a sentence, it would be, “Practice an analytical, not emotional, response to criticism in order to benefit your work”. It’s something that takes discipline. There are many of us who do it effortlessly, and then there are those of us who struggle with it (including me!). It’s been one of the most beneficial skills I’ve learned in my professional career, and I encourage everyone to exercise and stretch those shit eating muscles.
Just don’t forget your fork and knife.